Lost, I am.

Sometimes,
Confidence is what I need.
Ego in my inner self,
Pride on my chest.

Yea I know, ego and pride did killed me once. But I believe with a little of balance,
I might be able to handle myself well.

Life at hand is a versatile as the ocean.
At days where the sky is clear and the lagoons on the shores seem so beautiful,
That is when I am all chill, relaxed and enjoying.
For now, life is like an approachable storm.
You can faintly smell the rain, and the droplets of water touching your hands.
I am so afraid of losing who I am.

Hey girl, I miss you so darn badly everytime I see a couple on the train.
Wishing how much that the guy was me, and the girl was you.
You told me not to address you by dear,
But it is just a matter of time.

Wish me best of luck,
Wish me that she will be right here, in my hand. (:

Process is as bitter, while Success is as sweet.

Just allow me to tell you guys what I had been doing.
Recently, one to two months ago, I got a new part time job.
It was one of the most challenging job I had yet to take up.
It was to be a telemarketer.
Through the phone, I am suppose to identify myself as a personal assistant to my financial advisor.

Sometimes, I really appreciate making phone calls to very friendly and understanding people. They are nice to chat with, easily agreeable and at times, I became their listening ear. Through this job, I am able to partially walk into different types of walks of life. Some whose life is all a total mess up such as retrenchment, some in the midst of bankruptcy and some even worst, a retiree living alone where all their kids had left them. However, some are really interesting. They are in the midst of marriage! Some are about to have kids! Some are about to have grand children! Thus, in this job, I did have a wide range of experience talking to various types of people.

Some nasty phone call goes like this.

Me: Hello Sir, my name is Edward and I am calling on behalf of **** ***** *******. Would it be a good time to talk to you now?
Sir: You stupid idiot do you know what time is it now?! Why you call me now?!
(I checked my time and it is only 8pm in the night. WTF?)
Me: (Acting cool) Oh I am so sorry sir, I got you at a wrong time. May I...
(Hung up)

Some are worst.

Me: Hello Sir, my name is Edward and I am calling on behalf of **** ***** *******. Would it be a good time to talk to you now?
Sir: You crazy ar calling me at this time?! DON'T CALL ME AGAIN AR!!!!!
(It was 8.30pm. WTF?)
He hung up, which is a goooood thing.

But in any instance, this is life. We encounter many unpleasant experiences. It will make us stronger, and even better in the future, as we are to face such circumstances as we grow up.

Some calls come from the database (cold calling) while some come from roadshows, which is what happen today.

Today, I decided to take up the full challenge of getting the numbers, and later calling the people up as a follow up.

Last night I had another cycling trip to Kranji with all my uncle buddies. My lil brother came along too! It was a great ride, got my new aerobar.. ANYWAY, I slept at 4am after talking to someone of my interest. I woke up at 12noon! Supposingly, I was suppose to report for work at 10am!

Thanks to my gracious and merciful finanical advisor (not guan yin ar).
He gave me allowance time to rush down! Thanks ar! Me damn paiseh man!
Reach there at around 1.30pm. Gosh I was such a mess mentally.

I must say that in order for one to actually perform physically well, we must be able to be mentally stable and of course, filled with positivity in thinking. However, sadly to say, I was quite screwed up because I did had a major qurral with my mum and certain things that were haunting my mind so badly, I lost all the confidence I had. But thanks to my finanical advisor, he gave me alot of courage and strength and knowledge on how to approach them for a survey.

In the first two hours, I screwed up pretty badly. But as the words of encouragement and strength came into my mind, slowly I picked up the skills and confidence I needed to actually approach people. After the whole roadshow, I managed to approach 65 people for good quality survey which I will do follow up calls on them soon! I am looking forward to it because I am really wanting to assist them.

In any instance, I must say that the process of getting to approach people was so much of a headache, thinking how would people reject you etc, but on the other hand, with a positive mindset, I went full steam ahead and got successful results. I am proud of myself and awaiting for the next roadshow. God knows what's next!

I guess I can only read your entries and appreciate your beautiful face from your blog.

Am I destined to be with her? Or destination is one we create for ourselves?

Hey, it's been quite awhile since I did blog!

I doubt anyone reads it.

Quite a couple of things did really affected my life.
Although they are not related to me directly,
but my loved ones are hurt, and so will I be deeply affected.


He is a person that was there when I needed a listening ear.
He was there to cheer me up with lame jokes.
We would sit down together and make fun of songs that were once so beautifully sounding.
We would have our dinner together and supper together.
We went on daring cycling rides which gave us experiences.

Yesterday was the day that really broke my heart.
A text message came telling me that his mother had left the world.
I was not prepared and was shaken inside.
My heart felt so pain because I can't live without my mother at such an age.

I went to her wake and when I saw her lying peacefully there,
memories come flashing back in my mind of how she would asked me and my buddy,
to have more rice when we were eating dinner together.
I can feel the sadness and hurt striking deep within my heart.
My eyes teared but I had to control.

Aunty, thank you for treating me just like your own son.
Although we were not blood related, but I treat your son as my own blood brother.
In the years to come where he will need guidance, I will be there to help him.
Aunty, I wished you was still here, able to cook, chat and laugh and even scold us.
You may have left the world but you will forever be remembered in my heart.
Rest in peace.




My childhood and my buddy, had just ended his relationship with his girlfriend.
It was a three year long relationship and it ended just like that.
I know how it feels when you had put in so much effort,
love her with all your heart and mind,
faithfully be by her side,
sacrifice your time in school just to be with her,
and the countless acts of love you had given to her.

Brother, I feel you and how hurt it is to just see all this going down the drain.
It may not be easy on you as there are so much burden that weighs you down.
Not to worry, we are separated by a few level only.
Anytime you can ring me up, and we can sit by the basketball court and talk anything under the moon. Cheer up bro!

For you.
I'm glad that tonight we both get to know each other way much better. I hope that tomorrow will be a day that would once give me a chance to make you feel special. And if a chance was ever given, I will treasure with my heart. I never wanted the conversation to end and wished to hear your voice, every night.

If your voice will bring me peace,
what will your physical appearance do?
bite lips + wink* :D

cupid?

Okay, wtf is a cupid? most of my buddies didnt knw it.
well, go watch Night at the Museum 2!
those 3 little "stoned" figures flying around singing songs,
when the guy is with the girl.

so wtf does a cupid do? okay based on the movie,
its suppose to be the Gods of Love.

but lemme get you guys a proper definition k?


Cu·pid

Roman Mythology The god of love; the son of Venus. cupid A representation of Cupid as a naked cherubic boy (WTF) usually having wings and holding a bow and arrow, used as a symbol of love. [Middle English Cupide, from Old French, from Latin cupīdō, desire, Cupid, from cupere, to desire.]

Okay that was from www.dictionary.com

well, guess it did clearly state wth is it. and about the naked cherubic boy, thats not me uh!!

and often i think that i am a cupid. lemme tell you guys why~
most of the time, i will hang out with friends,
and apparently, there will be a girl that i have a crush on,
and the girl will end up with my friend.
wanna know whats the worst part???
they always get together in front of me.
that should explain why at times i am quiet despite my joking character!


so picture this, they will be lovey dovey, holding hands,
and i will be at their back.

but this happens way to common in my life.
honestly, there are many ppl in my life that i did see,
falling in love, when i am after her.

so hor, sua already. me v.tired liao. if i have female friends,
i am happy already. lol!

SO! a couple of hours more to go, and the new school term starts.
guess what? what. Java UT on the first day.
and the whole fking week is UT week. YAYness! -.-"

I dont really know how much I can take from all the IT shit..
and you know this love life shit, its really crappy.
but i think life is just like this??

had two chalets within two weeks.
first was great second was not too bad!

here are some words for some of my friends that are going through a hard time:

Staryl, I know it's hard for you to not get pissed off by what your bf did to sort of like hurt you, indirectly. But understand the fact that he is a guy and a guy hardly understand her gf until she seriously breaks down. and at certain times, it might seems hopless to why carry on this so fucked up r/s when he dont even care and bother.

Well, I just want to encourage you to be a stronger self, and not let such things that your bf do that hurts you deep within. You do have me and other friends to talk your heart out to and I am sure they will be there for you. At least, you are attached. i am sure he will be there for you too.

Meanwhile, take care and text me alright! (:

Alexi, you have just broken up and I can feel the pain you are going through? I had been through a breakup, and it was never easy letting it all go. That attached lifestyle that you had suddenly plunged into a singlehood thing.

You loved him way too much, and if I had a gf that does whatever you would do to your bf like surprising him to a cablecar birthday dinner, I will propose to you when I got a stable job and earning the bucks! I mean, it's hard to come by such a girl like you. and since it's over already, dont go fretting about it for you know, you seriously deserves a guy that treats you way better.

Stay strong and keep yourself busy! and when will we ever meet up?! HAHA!

Baozhen, it's time to move on already. I known you for some time and lost contact, and once we are back chatting, you changed soooo much uh! for better or worst, i won't say. but I feel that you did loved him very much too! so much so that till this day, I am sure his name still lingers in your heart and you feel so tired, just wanting him to be with you.

My advise is that you should move on with life already. dont keep looking back, for what the past, is the past. and look for someone that deserves you, not demand you! perhaps when you are in search of him, ensure that he can provide you with security, committement, love, care, concern.. etc. BUT! don't always go and jio the guy. The boy should take the initiative. (:

Jiayou alright? and stop being emo about stuff already. see you, online!



Alright guys, off to the bed already!
thanks for reading though, do tag! :D

somethings are just beyond our control.

just look at our daily lives and the world we lived in today.

so many natural disasters, virus and flu diseases are so common these days.
the stock market is at a all time high and soon it dips below the charts,
causing so poverty to increase, leading to much much crime rates...
homosexuality are on the rise and people think its alright!

let me not talk about myself for just once.
i want to learn and appreciate how the world screwed us up.


thank goodness Singapore is located in such a geological position that we almost disaster free,
from the horrendous weather conditions. poor Indonesia, taking the hit for us. however, being position surrounding with developing countries are one of the worst scenario for us too.

(bush on fire! haha not this BUSH lah)

remember the day Malaysia and Indonesia decided to clear the jungle by burning their forest floor for plantation? bush on fire! they smoke, we breathe. and all the asthmatic people in Singapore just have to suffer like fuck. yes, like fuck.

(hazy hazy)

a few reasons why such things happen, corruption in the government, the lack of education, the lack of equipment and also the easygoing way of just burn and what's better, the ashes of the aftermath act as fertilizers.


no offense to our neighbouring countries, but the government there is corrupted. and it isn't their fault too, the country is big and hard to manage, and greed comes into the heart of the officials..


lack of education? yes. imagine a farmer, 50 year old and have lots of experience in farming from their past generations, but he can't read or write. how to educate like that? draw for him ar? and they are stubborn lah. ask them change, they lazy or don't want or comes up with some pussy reasons.

(fierce or what, the fire is massive)

you know how easy to light up a forest fire? just ask that douche bag in Australia, how he managed to kill so many animals and killed people too! all for the sake of fun. just light up and burn a bush, and all you need is someone to break wind. HAHA! no kidding. just natural wind will make that small bush of fire into a fireball. how unfair? well...




And ar, if you want to ride the best rollercoaster of your life, try buying stocks. it will have your ass screwed up big time, esp if you throw your whole life savings in your piggy bank, to the stock market. heard of the genting rollercoaster? you have yet to have the ride of your life man. not saying that i am a player in the stock market, i do read and sighs everytime i see a major bank shut their front gates and employees carrying boxes leaving the building.




with major banks come tumbling down, everyone is affected. ever heard of... "when the shit hits the fan, everyone ducks?" well, some were forced to stand up and kena hit by the shit lor.






bad luck. retrenchment rates were record high and those people in desperate need goes around robbing and stealing. what's worst? they target those elderly. thank goodness our police force is not too bad. do patrol around our estates...






and i just stumbled upon a gay blog. it is not that i am against homosexuality, but it's just downright wrong. i understand that different people have different wants and needs. BUT inserting your dick into a A-hole is not cool, and having a guy doing blow jobs for you is downright wrong. i will vomit if i see one such act. like seriously. i hope my future generations realise how much God hates homosexuality and realise the consequences of anal sex. it's aids and stds they will be getting! haiz.... and dont come asking why i dont put pictures of gays here.

if you read the bible, you will know how much God detest homosexuality.

(btw, thats the city of sodom & gomorrah)

hmmmm so lemme conclude. there are definitely way much more things that are incontrollable in our hands, thus we must always learn to be flexible and watch our asses to know and analysis our near future, because prevention is always better than cure!

meanwhile, readers out there! thanks for your concern about me smoking... i am cutting down already alright! (: no worries uh! oh yes! rmb to tag! :D

loves,
Edward

haha! hey i didnt know my classmates read about my blog.
they said it was interesting to read but find my blog very pessimistic at times.
oh well, i am just that joker that always put a smile on my face and the others,
because i feel that my saddness in my life, they dont deserve to feel it.

thus here is all i rant my oh-so-fucked-up poems,
all my thoughts and my saddness.

honestly, if i was given a chance to like rewind the hand of time,
i would and here are the few things i will not do.

1. on 9 of nov 2008, i will not scold you through the phone, break your heart and sink my relationship with you.
2. during shawn's wedding, i should still hug you, hold your hands, give you a peck on your forehead and apologise for the stupidness i had done in your life.
3. on 15 of feb, i shouldnt have asked sebas out to cycle.
   
4. i shouldnt have commit that sin on 6 of feb 2009.
5. 4 of march 2009, i shouldn't have even took that cigarette.

here are just some of my biggest mistakes in my life. yet, they are past. but the affect the future.
now, living a life of aimless and pointless goals. even in love, i have already given up hope. 我好累.

school is like fuck. we pay so much sch fees for our education and they make us retake our tests. sometimes i just ponder. wtf are they doing with my wad of cash.

but i attend school for only 2 reasons.
one is for my bubbly and lovely classmates.
second is for my interest group.

afterall, i am just that cupid hovering over your head seeing you in love.

a couple of my friends come and asked me abt this. but hey, this is true.
my ex and his bf is sweeetly in love.
the girls i had a crushed on sort of found their partner.
my best buddies are attached.

and have you ever had the feeling where by everyone is attached and you are not?

and i was just wondering, perhaps i am fated to be alone, even God Almighty created eve for adam.

OH YES!
w64j chalet was super fun. i wanna give great credits to my panda jiejie for putting in so much hardwork for the bbq.
i ended up being the charcoal person, setting up the fire etc etc...
and spend the night admiring how mel was a good dancer, not forgetting ain.
ended up chatting with a few classmates in person, and got to know them way alot better.
their lives are almost as fucked up as mine. HAHAA!
but i had a great time. thanks guys! :D

woke up early today because i thought that there will be a roadshow job by great eastern.
great eastern is being great by forgetting to sms me that they will do a selection for the job.
making me dress up all formal and until at the mrt station, i realised that the job is cancelled.
what the fucking fuck.

haha! stupid me.

aiyah, cant give a shit about anything already. lost hopes for many aspects of life.
maybe taking a step a day will be the best way to live life, with surprise "excitement".

screw it, it = my life.

sweet words without action,
is as good as a plant without water.

neither will it blossom,
nor will it flourish.
for action speaks louder than words.

a man without a woman,
is like a gun without bullets.
it doesnt serve its purpose.

just like me without you,
i had lost the confidence of the things i done,
i had lost my purpose in life.

goodbye my dearest, once again.

laughters..

so after a break with sally and guys,
they laughed and i laughed.
okay i laughed my ass out.

thursday training was damn funny too,
i wished that every training was as stupid as this.
but i seriously did roll on floor laughing.

but let me back off, reflect and do a lil thinking.

laughters, are they really suppose to bring happiness?

honestly,
i dont know how the fuck should i feel anymore.
everything seems to be so fucking tiring.
it all seems not worth fighting for.
just plenty of pessimistic thoughts floating in my mind.
if we were to laugh, will our "masks" come off?

as i exhale,
as the cigarette burnt,
the thoughts were like floating through.
yes my thoughts were visible,
my thoughts were real.

try creating Os with the smoke,
yeap, form plenty, none turns out perfect.
how applicable.
whatever i do, it wont turn out right.
whatever i do, even if its successful,
i will just hit the celling.

sometimes, life seems so meaningless,
yet at times, i am filled with excitement.

and i miss those times where excitement is what i inhale,
and success is what i exhale.

i know one thing that is worth fighting for.
YOU.

should always the best man win?

every single day,
just like a plant receives sunlight,
i got to know you better.

bits by bits,
parts by parts.

as the flower blossoms,
i noticed that there are many vines around.

as you are just so attractive,
i noticed that there are so many suitors,
always besides you.

some of the guys waited so long,
did so much.

and yet if i am there to just get you,
wouldn't i be selfish?

or perhaps,

maybe the best man win?

day by day, a step at a time.

i wont judge.
because i am not fit to.

i wont look down.
because i am none better.

i will accept.
because love is about acceptance.

i have confidence.
but not full of it. because half of it, lies in you.

i am not jealous.
for love isn't jealous, neither is it boastful.

i strive for the best in life.
and you are part of it.

i am matured.
when i am handling things that affect you.

ability to provide,
love and security,
allow my actions to speak.

seriously, you awaken me tonight.
took me to a level where thoughts that deeply run through me were answered.

we can always say this phrase a hundred times,"直到你失去,你不会董得珍惜".
but we will never realize it somehow till we really lose it.

words of wisdom and experience,
how true.

will be waiting till the next moment i meet you.
will treasure it.

great great nights. (:

once he looked,
twice he glanced.
that beautiful body with that perfect dress.

his attention caught,
his heart spoke.
but he looked back,
as he was broke.

before he knew it,
his buddy spoke.
here's a girl,
he introduced.

from time to time,
her name,
haunting in his mind.

unable to eat,
unable to sleep.
all he can think of,
that moment of truth.

as the days went by,
she's still there.
lingering deeply,
in his heart.

gentle chats,
tender care.
all was shown,
in the text.

soon, weeks flew by.
realizing what seems possible,
now destroyed.

all comes to an end,
of another crush.
looking back, was that life?

HAHA this is a random post. or maybe not.

Crushed.

I had a few pretty rough days in a row.
It was extremely exhausting. Nerve-wrecking and mind fucking.
Thanks to Fee, my day was so much better. :D

Woke up at 12noon. I had a 12 hour slept.
That might explained how tired I was.

Let me begin,

On Tuesday, my beloved classmates during the second break,
"chabot" class. WHY? Because we don't catch the ball of the problem,
that facilitator was soooo boring. Her worksheet, no one did.
Our powerpoint front page wasn't even up!
And they had this "brilliant" idea of going to study.
Thus, we ended up in W67J, 3 stories above, "studying".
Brothers and sisters separated table,
one side ended up gaming. the other end up chatting.

YAYNESS! so much so for "studying" for later's UT.
how ironic.

UT started. IT WAS AS CRAP AS "I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE"!
I don't even understand a single question.
And the 6Ps that were suppose to be "helpful",
became gibberish to me.

Rushed off to trek training.
A few came. Sigh, disappointed.
My mood was damn bad. I was super silent the whole training.
Played frisbee. It didn't work out well.
Ended with a volleyball.

Mum's curry chicken made the night. It was superb.
I think when she retired, she can go and be a chef or something.




Today,
LEPAK day.
met Kim and Vig, left for school.
Had a briefing which wasted 30mins of my time.

Rushed down to AMK to meet Fee.
We went to catch a movie, The Uninvited.
It was more of a thriller than of a horror movie.

Went to get my dinner and we chatted.
We were smoking, and this uncle,
scare both Fee and me.
From afar, he looks like a typical NEA officer.
With a walkietalkie, a pen in his pocket,
and that look he gave. NEA.

We were like pretending to be just chilling,
looking and ensuring we ain't flicking our cigarette.

And before you know it, his wife approached him.
And just like any uncle and aunty, they were holding hands.
Shit. That fucking man gave us a jump. SHIT.

MRT homed, still thinking about her.

I don't know if what I am saying will be applicable to ladies,
But here's how I feel about you girl.
That look, that smile, that sweet voice you had,
Just caught be on an instant. And deep within me,
I KNOW THAT'S IT.
You caught my attention unlike any others.
You are irreplaceable.

Before you know it,
We are in contact. We chat and smoked together.
I gave you things that make you go soft and touched.
Well, you are just that perfect girl.

However, to me you are just like so far away.
You have so many guys, way better than me.
I know I am a nobody in your world,
but you deserve that smile everyday of your life.

Not giving up yet. Not so easily.

I miss you already.

YAYNESS.

Alright. I know I have not been updating.

Sorry Sheryl, and those that read my blog. :P

Currently I am seriously busy with school.

Nothing to do with my studies, but what lies deep within was my passion,

That keep driving me to push myself to the next level of trekking.

www.rp-trekearth.blogspot.com

That was what I am busy with.













For my class, what must have more to say then using the F word?

I knew you guys think that its THAT f word again.

Nah, its fun alright! :D

20 girls, 5 guys.

HAHA I think I am influenced by them too much.

How the way the act and talk. OMG... WHATEVER...

HAHA so much so like a girl eh!

Don't worry I am straight. Just gotta be adaptive to my current situation.

Seriously, I am thankful for all my oh-so-loving friends.

I AM SORRY, I AM JUST TOOO CAUGHT UP WITH MYSELF!
sometimes I forget your names. :(













I don't really know how is my life going to be running now?

Perhaps songs are the best to describe my feelings...

Soulmate by Natasha Beddingfield

How do you sleep by Jesse McCartney

If you people listen to these songs, you will understand. (:


anyways, anyhow. I am alright. Still surviving. :D

allow me to into my future. (:

Currently,

I am 19, studying in RP doing Diploma in Business Application.

My passion belongs to the outdoor,
which consists of mountain trekking,
having all sorts of outdoor sports,
and I love doing extremes.
Rock Climbing! Cycling! Swimming! Frisbee!


Just by looking at what I am studying,
there is an absolute no link to whatever my passion is.

However, I am glad I had found what satisfy me.
After all, happiness is one of the essential need for a healthy life.

There are 2 routes I am heading. Gotta choose one.


Continue in Business, which in turn will bring me lots of money,
however will it ever bring me happiness? I ever doubt.

Find myself a girl that I love, not lust for.
Take the relationship through my poly years,
and here and there I am sure to know,
Relations does have it's ups and down.
Army will be a great test for me and her.


After ORD, find myself a job maybe as a businessman,
At the same time, do a part-time degree in maybe business management?
Upon graduation, I will be around 27 years old.

Save up my money for a grand marriage, a beautiful honeymoon,
a condominium penthouse, a great and powerful car,


Getting married at maybe 30 years old? A little too old,
but with age comes wisdom, knowledge and experience.

Enjoy a life just with my wife for 2 years? And soon I wanna have kids.
2boys, 2girls.


Retire at the age of 50 with millions in my bank,
take an overlook at the demands of the market,
maybe I will invest in entertainment for youths.

Open a club, just like Zouk.


Have part of my profit going to orphanages, third world countries,
feeding the hungry, educating the poor and ensuring poverty ceases.

Looking back after all I have typed, gosh, this is seriously a life I would wanna lead.






Alright, here's the 2nd route.

Upon graduating from RP, I will enter army.
Seriously my mind ponders will I even be attached with a girl.
Entering into the army will expose me to a lot of outdoors,
a lot of "protecting" the nation.


ORDed and maybe I might get myself a job that deals with outdoor,
maybe Outward Bound (whatever the country is)
Or even being a trekking professional, learning how to deal with nature.

I know the pay is extreme little compared to being a businessman,
but that is, IF I were to pursue my passion. Happiness is guaranteed,
however I am a poor man.


Will I even get married if I do not have money?
Will I even find a girl that suits my lifestyle of outdoor and nature?

HAHA assuming I am single,
I will just continue loving nature, until I retire.


Retiring at 60? And maybe get myself a countryside house by the river.
Open myself a trekking company,
Planning and organizing trekking trips for those students who have passion for nature.

I will charge as little as possible,
because I know these students were just like me,
40 years ago. Saving up money to go overseas and experience nature.


After so much I typed, reflected and thought,
I seriously doubt this is the life I will ever want.
Somehow, let things go by step by step.

Alright, the third route which I didn't really thought of.
God's calling. To be a missionary.

Once a vision was given to me.
God placed me on a stage, with a translator.
As I opened my eyes, I see multitude of people,
mostly dark skinned, maybe the Africans or Indians.


Perhaps God's will was for me to make use of my speaking talent.
To show them how much God's love
will provide, will bless, will supply, will protect, will forgive sins...

I have no idea how am I going to head for this path of life,
and certainly, if that is truly what God's plan for me of life,
It will come true and it shall come true.


God will make a way, where there isn't.
He will be there for those that believe in Him in the darkest moment of their lives.
God heals, God cares and God loves.


OKAY! enough about that exciting glimpse of my future.
Sorry guys, I have not been updating like recently,
and thanks, year ones. You guys are a beautiful bunch of students.
Anything just tagged me on my board, or drop me a MSN message.

with love,
Edward.

it stills haunts me. =/

so, today was an extremely unforgettable day!

the night before, ryan and me decided to "overnight" in school,
WHY? so that i wont have to wake up so freaking early to go sch for
FOP 2009. it starts at 8.30am!!!

the night was long, silent and just not a very comfortable night.
managed to sleep only after 5.30am. awaken by alarm by 8am,
i showered and changed up, all still in a daze.......

reported and even the ICs of the SIT was also in a mess!
she didnt know what she shld do!?!?!
but her face of panicked deserves my sympathy luh.
so i went over to assist her in sorting out mess.

after all the sticker pasting, shouting, running here and there...
finally all the SIT students year ones were sitting in the badminton hall.
it's a pretty amazing side, to see Singapore's largest SIT,
a cohort of more than one thousand students! :D

managed to get team number 36!
omgosh they are some of the most farniest ppl to hang out with!
the guys were friendly and the girls were cheeky.
however have some super quiet dudes.. and girls...
HAHA okay i hope tmr will be better! :D

after everything ended,
phoned mum and i thought she was at bukit gombak.
so i alighted there, thinking mum and clinton was there.

and as i walked through the busy streets,

i felt as if the past have came back.

the surge of me, always rushing through these busy pathways,

buying dinner, milktea and some snacks,

just to surprise samantha.

walked down the koffeeshop..

i use to rmb where samantha and me always sit,

i even rmb what we loved to order.

you knw, tears flowed out,

my heartache like it nvr did before.

immediately, i became so quiet.

all i can picture was me still holding your hands,

strolling down this small little town,

and nth else matters...

BUT, it's all over.
i dont understand why, it still do seriously haunts me.
you are beautifully attached,
what you wanted you got...
perhaps thats why you dont feel the burn.

alright, so much so for now..

shat!

hahaha!

a sudden urge of running along the beaches of Sentosa.

babes + sand + sun + (maybe a cig?)

wooo.... paradise! hahahaa!

maybe a lil of frisbee, v.ball...

and nth beats a great spa, a great massage..

and finally, chilling out with friends at club.

(above mentioned is a dream.)

hahahhahahaa addicted to rap music.

great tempo, but fucked up lyrics. LOL!

still nice, i dont really care.

wtf.

was trying to fall asleep...

and (he+she=they) smsed me. kinda of pissed off.

perhaps i think even as friends, we shouldn't be.

but bro, we are in the same church, same svc...

i won't want to, or have anything to destroy your r/s with her.

my motives are just pure friendship.

anyway, glad that she now lies in your hands.

&

dad is in thailand,

and wtf thailand is thai-fucking-messed-up-land now.

i hope they stopped their state of emergency,

and all the riots & protests that messed a beautiful nation up.

if anything happens to dad...

&

had a freaking nightmare in the morning,

plus mum and didi is sick. wth is wrong.

great, now i am alone at home.

moody and its going to rain.

well done...

Dad i will miss you. All the best for bowling in Thailand.
Mom and Clinton is sick. WTH of all times, now. :(

Been to KL with buddies just for some fun.
Very budget though... Apologies if I sort of spoil parts of the fun.


Serving for Easter & Children Church. (kids are fun)
Allow me to summaries it all.

When one is weak, continue enduring.
For the outcome will be a strong self.

So many things, just rushed through.

Perhaps it's time to just sit down.
Chill & Relax & Reflect.

School is re-opening in a couple of days.
I am like a mug that is about to overflow with excitement. (:

Sometimes I wonder, if we really do stand a chance.

if feelings and emotions can be replaced....

it will be replaced by songs.

Kelsey

Metro Station

So take one word you said,
You put it in your bed,
You rest your tiny head on your pillow.
You wonder where you're going next,
You got your head pushed to my chest,
And now you're hoping that someone lets you in.

Well I swear I'll let you in.
You know I'll let you in.
Oh Kelsey, you.

So don't let anyone scare you,
You know that I'll protect you always.
Now through the thick and thin.
Until the end, you better watch it.
You know you don't cross it because
I'm always here for you.
And I'll be here for you.

I know, I know, I know
I know how it feels, believe me,
I've been there. And
I know, I know, I know
I know what it feels like.
Tell me - Kelsey

And I'd swim the ocean for you.
The ocean for you.
Whoa. Kelsey.

And I'd swim the ocean for you.
The ocean for you.
Whoa. Kelsey.
Oh you, darling.

Now it's gonna get harder.
And it's gonna burn brighter.
And it's gonna feel tougher.
Each and every day.

And so let me say, that I love you.
You're all I've ever wanted.
All I've ever dreamed of to come.
And yes - you did come.

I want you so bad,
Can you feel it too?
You know I'm so,
I'm so in love with you.
I want you, so much.
I need you, so much.
I need your, I need your, your touch.

And I'd swim the ocean for you.
The ocean for you.
Whoa. Kelsey.

And I'd swim the ocean for you.
The ocean for you.
Whoa. Kelsey.
4x

And you never ever let me in.
4x

Her name, is not Kelsey though! =x

I knw, it's hard for you girl.

Sometimes you are so close yet so far.

And, your smile brightens my darkened night.

whatever i said, i really wanna see it happen.

Thank you all.

First up, thank you, daddy & mummy for blessing me with a great birthday.

parents brought me & didi to Malaysia, Malacca.

Just to celebrate my birthday and have some fun.

on the 28th, woke up early, set out on MRT to kranji mrt!

(micky ho, clinton ho & faye choo)

it's pretty obvious.. i am the cameraman, so i am not inside.

after a 1.5 hour long of bus ride, we reached!

(Malacca River)

Yeap, thats beautiful Malacca! and we took a cab, costing RM15 to the lodge we booked.

(Ringo's Foyer Lodge!)

(towards the rooms)

(look cozy isn't it?)

i didn't take a picture of my room though. it was air-conditioned, queen size bed + 2 single.
very affordable, RM 55 per night for 4 people?

i must emphasize that i am impressed with my dad. because he loves hotel, and this time...
he stays in the lodge! and he enjoys? i hope. =x

what's best? the host of the lodge is very very very approachable and friendly.

(Howard the friendly host! & my dad, chatting)

after much settling down, we headed to the famous Dutch Area, where they have museums regarding the history of Malacca and beautiful scenes.

my dad wanted to explore the area a little.

so we hired two trishaws to bring us around. it's at an affordable rate. RM10!

(customized. some have even a stereo music system!)

the uncle sent us to a few sight seeing tours.

(dutch windmill)

after that, we walked back to that area, and took the staggering stairs up St. Paul's hill.
located on top, was a church which was 500+ years old?
it looks extremely torn down, with concreted tombstones surrounding.

(the view on top of the hill)

used my didi de cam to take a few pics down there.
that shld explain why, i didnt upload them here.

walked down to the famous Jonker Street. (Jonker, what a name.)

(dont under estimate the quietness of this place)
WHY?
because after 6pm, it will turn like this. (look below)

(sadly, only fri, sat and sundays, will they be like these)

had a great wanton mee + lok lok, in satay gravy. DELICIOUS.
walked back home, a great distance cause we are not familiar, we detour a couple of times.
went back to lodge and SNORE! zzzzz

2nd day was great. breakfast was just at our doorstep.
it isn't any ordinary breakfast store. it was DIM SUM!

(Restaurant Zhen Xiang Yuan)

(sufficient portion, good presentation, tasty sauce)

operating hours are 5am to 12nn.
it's so affordable, that my family ate like the royal family.
small plates were RM1.5o and big plates were RM1.90.

after a great breakfast, we walked to the riverside of Malacca. SWEET.

(me, as usual, love doing the extreme)

(my forever loving parents)

and.. my family pictures. quite stupid a few. =x

(super dad)

(about to shat in my pants)

and its time to bid farewell to Malacca.

ANYWAY, i would like to thank...

all that wished me happy birthday.

sorry for the late reply, cause i was in M'sia.

when I was home, my parents surprised me even with an extraordinary birthday.

(cake + donuts!)

(family shot!)

(me & clinton)

alright, end of here le bah! (:
those that read, do tag and comment!

had a long day at sentosa with trekearth. :D
frisbee, backflips and sunburnt.

hey girl, don't fret. even your bf fails you, i will be here, for you. loves you baby...