long time nvr blog. but who wanna read a joker's life?

darn, this few days i have been slpping at 6. am i crazy? i doubt. anyway, life now is rather in quite a complete mess in my studies. getting Cs & Ds are common for a joker in school i guess. perhaps its time for me to pull myself together and get serious just like ariel my buddy.

first and foremost, God. darn, its been a long time since i cry out to God about my life. looking back i reflect. its kinda of mess up. everytime when someone mention abt quiet time. crap, i feel guilty. i feel as if i have left my God outside the door not inviting him into the parties of my life. sorry God. guess human's nature is to seek you when i am in need. i want to change and i will change. will i? let time decides.

second! my girl. hey darling samantha, i am kinda of sure u must be reading this blog with eyes going O_O. hahaha, anyway, i really miss you alot. everytime when i see couples hugging on the mrt, walking hand in hand strolling down the streets, i felt the sense of loniness in my heart. "girl where are you? i ponder..." well, i really hope we can last a lifetime of love. having you be mine forever is a gift from heaven and living with you in this lifetime is a blessing. your birthday is very near. sorry i cant give you what i really promised. but me will do me best to make you the luckiest and most beloved girl on the planet on 16 Oct 2008. <3

third! my family. woah piang eh, ppl place their family after God and i placed it after my gf. perhaps its different people way of placing the important values in their life after all. well, dad is down with a fractured leg. i teared the other day while waiting for samantha to finish working. i was listening to Parachute band singing to surrender all. what make me tear is that i feel that i have not spend enough time with him. as i am typing this, pictures of memory of my daddy taking care of me when i was young flash back. how he took care of me when i was young. i felt the sense of security when he came to fetch me back from kindergarden. those time when he sacriface his time to send me to school, those time i made him angry.. those time i upset him so bad, he was hurt inside. damn, he's the best dad ever. yes he have many flaws as a father. but which father will work manually just to pay off his son's debt of 300 over bucks to Singtel? which father will have his leg fractured and still work and place 20 bucks into your wallet? which dad will aid a son when he's in trouble during secondary one? my dad. (: now his leg is fking fractured. damn that son of a bitch that made he fell. seeing him limping aches my heart. what the hell son am i? i ponder. dad, if u are reading this, i am sorry for times i made u upset and hurt. perhaps before you leave this world, i want you to carry my child and take good care of them. most importantly, come back to Christ. i want you and mum in heaven.

fourth, ministry. wooo, today or rather yesterday i did Radar position. it's a position that really makes me sleep. but i want to be stronger and be able to rise up in the next level. things happened today. but i will learn and be submissive towards whats coming my way. discipleship.

fifth! my brothers. yes yes, aaron and sebastian. damn, u guys are really the best buddies i should say, yes we have been through crazy arguments and damn, i cant remember. why place all the shit in the toilet bowl and stink up the whole toilet? flush it all lah. yea, thanks for being there for me to hear abt my f-ed up life and thanks too, for advicing me. well guys, i hope you two will forget abt the past and we can of cos start anew.

Oh yes, my blood brother. not that i am placing him last. but he's my BLOOOOOOD BROTHER. damn, sometimes i hate you so much. but u know, i love you way much i hate you. i know you just gotten your punk asss wheeler bike. here's something for you. everytime you cycle, it worries my heart. why? reason being i know hw crazily we cycle when we are together. i cant afford to lose you, is not like mum and dad can bring up another kid? bro, i need you as much as you need me in the future. i will raise you up when all have fallen and i will be there to lead you. last but not least, i love you.

Oh and TREK EARTH!
man, shit have really happened and i hope its all over. anyway, i really hope to see as many trekkers back into this IG for the pelapah waterfall trip. honestly, the trip is really a trip that is fun and i am sure you will enjoy it. i went for the racee and fell in love with it already. the experiences was priceless and beyond words. i hope that all of us will strengthened our friendship throughout this trip between the year 1s and year 2s. look at it this way, if we are going to have this cold friendship, it wont help us to handle next year's batch, wont be able to continue Trek Earth anymore. hey jerral and kim! thanks for all the effort put into Trek Earth! its been a pleasure working with you guys.

OKAY, edward is going crazy. why? because its 6am. CG is in 5 hours and i am still awake. one word. "screwed." anyway, thanks for reading! or rather wasting your time here. hahahaa...