laughters..

so after a break with sally and guys,
they laughed and i laughed.
okay i laughed my ass out.

thursday training was damn funny too,
i wished that every training was as stupid as this.
but i seriously did roll on floor laughing.

but let me back off, reflect and do a lil thinking.

laughters, are they really suppose to bring happiness?

honestly,
i dont know how the fuck should i feel anymore.
everything seems to be so fucking tiring.
it all seems not worth fighting for.
just plenty of pessimistic thoughts floating in my mind.
if we were to laugh, will our "masks" come off?

as i exhale,
as the cigarette burnt,
the thoughts were like floating through.
yes my thoughts were visible,
my thoughts were real.

try creating Os with the smoke,
yeap, form plenty, none turns out perfect.
how applicable.
whatever i do, it wont turn out right.
whatever i do, even if its successful,
i will just hit the celling.

sometimes, life seems so meaningless,
yet at times, i am filled with excitement.

and i miss those times where excitement is what i inhale,
and success is what i exhale.

i know one thing that is worth fighting for.
YOU.

should always the best man win?

every single day,
just like a plant receives sunlight,
i got to know you better.

bits by bits,
parts by parts.

as the flower blossoms,
i noticed that there are many vines around.

as you are just so attractive,
i noticed that there are so many suitors,
always besides you.

some of the guys waited so long,
did so much.

and yet if i am there to just get you,
wouldn't i be selfish?

or perhaps,

maybe the best man win?

day by day, a step at a time.

i wont judge.
because i am not fit to.

i wont look down.
because i am none better.

i will accept.
because love is about acceptance.

i have confidence.
but not full of it. because half of it, lies in you.

i am not jealous.
for love isn't jealous, neither is it boastful.

i strive for the best in life.
and you are part of it.

i am matured.
when i am handling things that affect you.

ability to provide,
love and security,
allow my actions to speak.

seriously, you awaken me tonight.
took me to a level where thoughts that deeply run through me were answered.

we can always say this phrase a hundred times,"直到你失去,你不会董得珍惜".
but we will never realize it somehow till we really lose it.

words of wisdom and experience,
how true.

will be waiting till the next moment i meet you.
will treasure it.

great great nights. (:

once he looked,
twice he glanced.
that beautiful body with that perfect dress.

his attention caught,
his heart spoke.
but he looked back,
as he was broke.

before he knew it,
his buddy spoke.
here's a girl,
he introduced.

from time to time,
her name,
haunting in his mind.

unable to eat,
unable to sleep.
all he can think of,
that moment of truth.

as the days went by,
she's still there.
lingering deeply,
in his heart.

gentle chats,
tender care.
all was shown,
in the text.

soon, weeks flew by.
realizing what seems possible,
now destroyed.

all comes to an end,
of another crush.
looking back, was that life?

HAHA this is a random post. or maybe not.