I guess I can only read your entries and appreciate your beautiful face from your blog.

Am I destined to be with her? Or destination is one we create for ourselves?

Hey, it's been quite awhile since I did blog!

I doubt anyone reads it.

Quite a couple of things did really affected my life.
Although they are not related to me directly,
but my loved ones are hurt, and so will I be deeply affected.


He is a person that was there when I needed a listening ear.
He was there to cheer me up with lame jokes.
We would sit down together and make fun of songs that were once so beautifully sounding.
We would have our dinner together and supper together.
We went on daring cycling rides which gave us experiences.

Yesterday was the day that really broke my heart.
A text message came telling me that his mother had left the world.
I was not prepared and was shaken inside.
My heart felt so pain because I can't live without my mother at such an age.

I went to her wake and when I saw her lying peacefully there,
memories come flashing back in my mind of how she would asked me and my buddy,
to have more rice when we were eating dinner together.
I can feel the sadness and hurt striking deep within my heart.
My eyes teared but I had to control.

Aunty, thank you for treating me just like your own son.
Although we were not blood related, but I treat your son as my own blood brother.
In the years to come where he will need guidance, I will be there to help him.
Aunty, I wished you was still here, able to cook, chat and laugh and even scold us.
You may have left the world but you will forever be remembered in my heart.
Rest in peace.




My childhood and my buddy, had just ended his relationship with his girlfriend.
It was a three year long relationship and it ended just like that.
I know how it feels when you had put in so much effort,
love her with all your heart and mind,
faithfully be by her side,
sacrifice your time in school just to be with her,
and the countless acts of love you had given to her.

Brother, I feel you and how hurt it is to just see all this going down the drain.
It may not be easy on you as there are so much burden that weighs you down.
Not to worry, we are separated by a few level only.
Anytime you can ring me up, and we can sit by the basketball court and talk anything under the moon. Cheer up bro!

For you.
I'm glad that tonight we both get to know each other way much better. I hope that tomorrow will be a day that would once give me a chance to make you feel special. And if a chance was ever given, I will treasure with my heart. I never wanted the conversation to end and wished to hear your voice, every night.

If your voice will bring me peace,
what will your physical appearance do?
bite lips + wink* :D

cupid?

Okay, wtf is a cupid? most of my buddies didnt knw it.
well, go watch Night at the Museum 2!
those 3 little "stoned" figures flying around singing songs,
when the guy is with the girl.

so wtf does a cupid do? okay based on the movie,
its suppose to be the Gods of Love.

but lemme get you guys a proper definition k?


Cu·pid

Roman Mythology The god of love; the son of Venus. cupid A representation of Cupid as a naked cherubic boy (WTF) usually having wings and holding a bow and arrow, used as a symbol of love. [Middle English Cupide, from Old French, from Latin cupīdō, desire, Cupid, from cupere, to desire.]

Okay that was from www.dictionary.com

well, guess it did clearly state wth is it. and about the naked cherubic boy, thats not me uh!!

and often i think that i am a cupid. lemme tell you guys why~
most of the time, i will hang out with friends,
and apparently, there will be a girl that i have a crush on,
and the girl will end up with my friend.
wanna know whats the worst part???
they always get together in front of me.
that should explain why at times i am quiet despite my joking character!


so picture this, they will be lovey dovey, holding hands,
and i will be at their back.

but this happens way to common in my life.
honestly, there are many ppl in my life that i did see,
falling in love, when i am after her.

so hor, sua already. me v.tired liao. if i have female friends,
i am happy already. lol!

SO! a couple of hours more to go, and the new school term starts.
guess what? what. Java UT on the first day.
and the whole fking week is UT week. YAYness! -.-"

I dont really know how much I can take from all the IT shit..
and you know this love life shit, its really crappy.
but i think life is just like this??

had two chalets within two weeks.
first was great second was not too bad!

here are some words for some of my friends that are going through a hard time:

Staryl, I know it's hard for you to not get pissed off by what your bf did to sort of like hurt you, indirectly. But understand the fact that he is a guy and a guy hardly understand her gf until she seriously breaks down. and at certain times, it might seems hopless to why carry on this so fucked up r/s when he dont even care and bother.

Well, I just want to encourage you to be a stronger self, and not let such things that your bf do that hurts you deep within. You do have me and other friends to talk your heart out to and I am sure they will be there for you. At least, you are attached. i am sure he will be there for you too.

Meanwhile, take care and text me alright! (:

Alexi, you have just broken up and I can feel the pain you are going through? I had been through a breakup, and it was never easy letting it all go. That attached lifestyle that you had suddenly plunged into a singlehood thing.

You loved him way too much, and if I had a gf that does whatever you would do to your bf like surprising him to a cablecar birthday dinner, I will propose to you when I got a stable job and earning the bucks! I mean, it's hard to come by such a girl like you. and since it's over already, dont go fretting about it for you know, you seriously deserves a guy that treats you way better.

Stay strong and keep yourself busy! and when will we ever meet up?! HAHA!

Baozhen, it's time to move on already. I known you for some time and lost contact, and once we are back chatting, you changed soooo much uh! for better or worst, i won't say. but I feel that you did loved him very much too! so much so that till this day, I am sure his name still lingers in your heart and you feel so tired, just wanting him to be with you.

My advise is that you should move on with life already. dont keep looking back, for what the past, is the past. and look for someone that deserves you, not demand you! perhaps when you are in search of him, ensure that he can provide you with security, committement, love, care, concern.. etc. BUT! don't always go and jio the guy. The boy should take the initiative. (:

Jiayou alright? and stop being emo about stuff already. see you, online!



Alright guys, off to the bed already!
thanks for reading though, do tag! :D

somethings are just beyond our control.

just look at our daily lives and the world we lived in today.

so many natural disasters, virus and flu diseases are so common these days.
the stock market is at a all time high and soon it dips below the charts,
causing so poverty to increase, leading to much much crime rates...
homosexuality are on the rise and people think its alright!

let me not talk about myself for just once.
i want to learn and appreciate how the world screwed us up.


thank goodness Singapore is located in such a geological position that we almost disaster free,
from the horrendous weather conditions. poor Indonesia, taking the hit for us. however, being position surrounding with developing countries are one of the worst scenario for us too.

(bush on fire! haha not this BUSH lah)

remember the day Malaysia and Indonesia decided to clear the jungle by burning their forest floor for plantation? bush on fire! they smoke, we breathe. and all the asthmatic people in Singapore just have to suffer like fuck. yes, like fuck.

(hazy hazy)

a few reasons why such things happen, corruption in the government, the lack of education, the lack of equipment and also the easygoing way of just burn and what's better, the ashes of the aftermath act as fertilizers.


no offense to our neighbouring countries, but the government there is corrupted. and it isn't their fault too, the country is big and hard to manage, and greed comes into the heart of the officials..


lack of education? yes. imagine a farmer, 50 year old and have lots of experience in farming from their past generations, but he can't read or write. how to educate like that? draw for him ar? and they are stubborn lah. ask them change, they lazy or don't want or comes up with some pussy reasons.

(fierce or what, the fire is massive)

you know how easy to light up a forest fire? just ask that douche bag in Australia, how he managed to kill so many animals and killed people too! all for the sake of fun. just light up and burn a bush, and all you need is someone to break wind. HAHA! no kidding. just natural wind will make that small bush of fire into a fireball. how unfair? well...




And ar, if you want to ride the best rollercoaster of your life, try buying stocks. it will have your ass screwed up big time, esp if you throw your whole life savings in your piggy bank, to the stock market. heard of the genting rollercoaster? you have yet to have the ride of your life man. not saying that i am a player in the stock market, i do read and sighs everytime i see a major bank shut their front gates and employees carrying boxes leaving the building.




with major banks come tumbling down, everyone is affected. ever heard of... "when the shit hits the fan, everyone ducks?" well, some were forced to stand up and kena hit by the shit lor.






bad luck. retrenchment rates were record high and those people in desperate need goes around robbing and stealing. what's worst? they target those elderly. thank goodness our police force is not too bad. do patrol around our estates...






and i just stumbled upon a gay blog. it is not that i am against homosexuality, but it's just downright wrong. i understand that different people have different wants and needs. BUT inserting your dick into a A-hole is not cool, and having a guy doing blow jobs for you is downright wrong. i will vomit if i see one such act. like seriously. i hope my future generations realise how much God hates homosexuality and realise the consequences of anal sex. it's aids and stds they will be getting! haiz.... and dont come asking why i dont put pictures of gays here.

if you read the bible, you will know how much God detest homosexuality.

(btw, thats the city of sodom & gomorrah)

hmmmm so lemme conclude. there are definitely way much more things that are incontrollable in our hands, thus we must always learn to be flexible and watch our asses to know and analysis our near future, because prevention is always better than cure!

meanwhile, readers out there! thanks for your concern about me smoking... i am cutting down already alright! (: no worries uh! oh yes! rmb to tag! :D

loves,
Edward

haha! hey i didnt know my classmates read about my blog.
they said it was interesting to read but find my blog very pessimistic at times.
oh well, i am just that joker that always put a smile on my face and the others,
because i feel that my saddness in my life, they dont deserve to feel it.

thus here is all i rant my oh-so-fucked-up poems,
all my thoughts and my saddness.

honestly, if i was given a chance to like rewind the hand of time,
i would and here are the few things i will not do.

1. on 9 of nov 2008, i will not scold you through the phone, break your heart and sink my relationship with you.
2. during shawn's wedding, i should still hug you, hold your hands, give you a peck on your forehead and apologise for the stupidness i had done in your life.
3. on 15 of feb, i shouldnt have asked sebas out to cycle.
   
4. i shouldnt have commit that sin on 6 of feb 2009.
5. 4 of march 2009, i shouldn't have even took that cigarette.

here are just some of my biggest mistakes in my life. yet, they are past. but the affect the future.
now, living a life of aimless and pointless goals. even in love, i have already given up hope. 我好累.

school is like fuck. we pay so much sch fees for our education and they make us retake our tests. sometimes i just ponder. wtf are they doing with my wad of cash.

but i attend school for only 2 reasons.
one is for my bubbly and lovely classmates.
second is for my interest group.

afterall, i am just that cupid hovering over your head seeing you in love.

a couple of my friends come and asked me abt this. but hey, this is true.
my ex and his bf is sweeetly in love.
the girls i had a crushed on sort of found their partner.
my best buddies are attached.

and have you ever had the feeling where by everyone is attached and you are not?

and i was just wondering, perhaps i am fated to be alone, even God Almighty created eve for adam.

OH YES!
w64j chalet was super fun. i wanna give great credits to my panda jiejie for putting in so much hardwork for the bbq.
i ended up being the charcoal person, setting up the fire etc etc...
and spend the night admiring how mel was a good dancer, not forgetting ain.
ended up chatting with a few classmates in person, and got to know them way alot better.
their lives are almost as fucked up as mine. HAHAA!
but i had a great time. thanks guys! :D

woke up early today because i thought that there will be a roadshow job by great eastern.
great eastern is being great by forgetting to sms me that they will do a selection for the job.
making me dress up all formal and until at the mrt station, i realised that the job is cancelled.
what the fucking fuck.

haha! stupid me.

aiyah, cant give a shit about anything already. lost hopes for many aspects of life.
maybe taking a step a day will be the best way to live life, with surprise "excitement".

screw it, it = my life.

sweet words without action,
is as good as a plant without water.

neither will it blossom,
nor will it flourish.
for action speaks louder than words.

a man without a woman,
is like a gun without bullets.
it doesnt serve its purpose.

just like me without you,
i had lost the confidence of the things i done,
i had lost my purpose in life.

goodbye my dearest, once again.