laughters..

so after a break with sally and guys,
they laughed and i laughed.
okay i laughed my ass out.

thursday training was damn funny too,
i wished that every training was as stupid as this.
but i seriously did roll on floor laughing.

but let me back off, reflect and do a lil thinking.

laughters, are they really suppose to bring happiness?

honestly,
i dont know how the fuck should i feel anymore.
everything seems to be so fucking tiring.
it all seems not worth fighting for.
just plenty of pessimistic thoughts floating in my mind.
if we were to laugh, will our "masks" come off?

as i exhale,
as the cigarette burnt,
the thoughts were like floating through.
yes my thoughts were visible,
my thoughts were real.

try creating Os with the smoke,
yeap, form plenty, none turns out perfect.
how applicable.
whatever i do, it wont turn out right.
whatever i do, even if its successful,
i will just hit the celling.

sometimes, life seems so meaningless,
yet at times, i am filled with excitement.

and i miss those times where excitement is what i inhale,
and success is what i exhale.

i know one thing that is worth fighting for.
YOU.

should always the best man win?

every single day,
just like a plant receives sunlight,
i got to know you better.

bits by bits,
parts by parts.

as the flower blossoms,
i noticed that there are many vines around.

as you are just so attractive,
i noticed that there are so many suitors,
always besides you.

some of the guys waited so long,
did so much.

and yet if i am there to just get you,
wouldn't i be selfish?

or perhaps,

maybe the best man win?

day by day, a step at a time.

i wont judge.
because i am not fit to.

i wont look down.
because i am none better.

i will accept.
because love is about acceptance.

i have confidence.
but not full of it. because half of it, lies in you.

i am not jealous.
for love isn't jealous, neither is it boastful.

i strive for the best in life.
and you are part of it.

i am matured.
when i am handling things that affect you.

ability to provide,
love and security,
allow my actions to speak.

seriously, you awaken me tonight.
took me to a level where thoughts that deeply run through me were answered.

we can always say this phrase a hundred times,"直到你失去,你不会董得珍惜".
but we will never realize it somehow till we really lose it.

words of wisdom and experience,
how true.

will be waiting till the next moment i meet you.
will treasure it.

great great nights. (:

once he looked,
twice he glanced.
that beautiful body with that perfect dress.

his attention caught,
his heart spoke.
but he looked back,
as he was broke.

before he knew it,
his buddy spoke.
here's a girl,
he introduced.

from time to time,
her name,
haunting in his mind.

unable to eat,
unable to sleep.
all he can think of,
that moment of truth.

as the days went by,
she's still there.
lingering deeply,
in his heart.

gentle chats,
tender care.
all was shown,
in the text.

soon, weeks flew by.
realizing what seems possible,
now destroyed.

all comes to an end,
of another crush.
looking back, was that life?

HAHA this is a random post. or maybe not.

Crushed.

I had a few pretty rough days in a row.
It was extremely exhausting. Nerve-wrecking and mind fucking.
Thanks to Fee, my day was so much better. :D

Woke up at 12noon. I had a 12 hour slept.
That might explained how tired I was.

Let me begin,

On Tuesday, my beloved classmates during the second break,
"chabot" class. WHY? Because we don't catch the ball of the problem,
that facilitator was soooo boring. Her worksheet, no one did.
Our powerpoint front page wasn't even up!
And they had this "brilliant" idea of going to study.
Thus, we ended up in W67J, 3 stories above, "studying".
Brothers and sisters separated table,
one side ended up gaming. the other end up chatting.

YAYNESS! so much so for "studying" for later's UT.
how ironic.

UT started. IT WAS AS CRAP AS "I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE"!
I don't even understand a single question.
And the 6Ps that were suppose to be "helpful",
became gibberish to me.

Rushed off to trek training.
A few came. Sigh, disappointed.
My mood was damn bad. I was super silent the whole training.
Played frisbee. It didn't work out well.
Ended with a volleyball.

Mum's curry chicken made the night. It was superb.
I think when she retired, she can go and be a chef or something.




Today,
LEPAK day.
met Kim and Vig, left for school.
Had a briefing which wasted 30mins of my time.

Rushed down to AMK to meet Fee.
We went to catch a movie, The Uninvited.
It was more of a thriller than of a horror movie.

Went to get my dinner and we chatted.
We were smoking, and this uncle,
scare both Fee and me.
From afar, he looks like a typical NEA officer.
With a walkietalkie, a pen in his pocket,
and that look he gave. NEA.

We were like pretending to be just chilling,
looking and ensuring we ain't flicking our cigarette.

And before you know it, his wife approached him.
And just like any uncle and aunty, they were holding hands.
Shit. That fucking man gave us a jump. SHIT.

MRT homed, still thinking about her.

I don't know if what I am saying will be applicable to ladies,
But here's how I feel about you girl.
That look, that smile, that sweet voice you had,
Just caught be on an instant. And deep within me,
I KNOW THAT'S IT.
You caught my attention unlike any others.
You are irreplaceable.

Before you know it,
We are in contact. We chat and smoked together.
I gave you things that make you go soft and touched.
Well, you are just that perfect girl.

However, to me you are just like so far away.
You have so many guys, way better than me.
I know I am a nobody in your world,
but you deserve that smile everyday of your life.

Not giving up yet. Not so easily.

I miss you already.